It’s been about five years since my own personal ‘Saul of Tarsus, knock me off my donkey’ epiphany. It was shortly after the attacks on the World Trade Center and I was fresh out of (1) excuses and (2) the hospital, after a mini stroke had slapped some (but not much) sense into this thick head of mine. I had thought somewhat seriously about getting with a plan to shed the weight I had been lugging around. The day was cool and a wind was pushing leaves before it as I drove past a gym. Some rain appeared on my windshield. The Pittsburgh radio station was doing pledge break and they got their tenth pledge call and the guy on the radio put a song on.
’twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
“come in,” she said,
“i’ll give you shelter from the storm.”
I recognized the singer and the song as one of my favorites. I’d listened to it numerous times, but never quite heard it like I was hearing it now. It was like it was sent to me from another space and time. I found myself turning in to the parking lot of the gym. Now, when you’ve had a life changing event happen to you, there is a tendency to feel like some mundane thing has some special meaning to you. Sometimes you think of it and let it pass through your conciousness. Sometimes it sticks with you. This time it stuck. I parked the pickup and walked in to the gym. I listened to the sales manager’s pitch, took the tour of the gym and found myself feeling at home. Don, the manager, told me of the high you could get from the act of exerting yourself. I hadn’t felt that sort of high in some years. I remembered it and after some negotiating, I signed up for a three month trial. I felt the lure of the gym almost from the first day and soon found myself going daily and the pounds began to strip off my frame. I felt a warm feeling of fellowship with my compatriots at the gym and my rehab from the stroke made excellent progress.
I’ve suffered from manic depression for many years and the daily workouts served to flatten out the peaks and valleys for me. The feeling of desperation gave way to a feeling of control and I can only thank my workouts. I heard the song again tonight as I was leaving a rather hard workout.
“And if i pass this way again, you can rest assured
I’ll always do my best for her, on that i give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
“come in,” she said,
“i’ll give you shelter from the storm.”
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it’s always safe and warm.
“come in,” she said,
“i’ll give you shelter from the storm.”
The time I get to spend in my gym, where all is exactly as it seems and two hundred pounds is alway two hundred pounds is a gift that I will always treasure in a world of uncertainty.