The Thought of Summer Makes Me Silly
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A little bit of sun and the smiles emerge. Not Smile A, B or C in our repertoire of happy faces, but the winsome upturned-lip expression formed naturally by the spontaneous reactions between the loving heart, the free mind and the electrifying neuromuscular system. I call it the Wow Smile -- authentic, out of nowhere, its own creation. A stock smile or one manufactured is not a smile at all; it is a face we wear, often during the least amusing times. “Silly me, Officer. Was I really speeding?”
A content grin is next in line and a good chuckle is hard to beat. Indisputably, at the top of the list of smile-related contagions is laughter, true, unadulterated laughter that originates in the belly and erupts outwardly without control. They say it cures diseases, wins battles, makes friends and stops time in its tracks.
We need to laugh more, bombers; there’s no doubt about it. But I believe I speak for all of us when I say we’ll settle for a smile on the way to the gym and a satisfying grin as we walk out the door... and just for good measure, a chuckle along the way.
In one month summer will be knocking at the door.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Summer.
Summer who?
Sum ’er lean and mean, sum ’er dumpy and lumpy. How about you?
Ummm... err... no thanks, I gave at the office... Go away!
I know. I write about nothing, but it’s my favorite approach to a conversation about us and our passions, which include huge and ripped (my personal fav), big and strong (another popular combo), large and powerful (redundant, but highly rated), massive and mighty (enough, already); trim ’n fit (can’t beat that), curvy and toned (hello, ladies... not you, Chuck), petite and cutsie (pretty much a girl thing), fat loss (all-aboard), injury recovery (standing room only); motivation, inspiration, striation, enervation, dedication, frustration and mumps.
Considering the stretch of glorious weather ahead, global warming, no jobs, spare time and free lunches, a lot of bomber-type guys and gals will be spending time at the beaches and parks strutting their stuff. “Hey, baby, like, what’s happening?” Yeah, right. Like, how would you like to eat that beer can, Dude?
First of all, Team Shape-Up, before the tanks and shorts and high heel flip-flops are adorned, you have a list of things to do. Number one, get off the winter bulk-up routine. The rationale for stuffing your chubby face (bottom and belly) and hoisting hunky weights (slowly and barely) is over. It was over six weeks ago when the snow melted and your scale popped a spring. It’s time for supersets, a lean on the reps and pace and a favorable reduction in the poundages as form and focus and renewed goals come into play.
That was a mouthful. Speaking of which, no more but-I’m-bulking-up junk food, high-glycemics and excess carbs. EFAs only, no grease and get your nose out of the refrigerator. Remember: High protein meals starting with breakfast, and reasonable portions every three or four hours throughout the day. No late eating, take your supps regularly and be nice to your dog.
You don’t have a dog? Be nice to your wife. You don’t have a wife? Congratulations! Ha! Just kidding. Guy joke.
Another mouthful. It’s tough, I know: watch your diet, train hard, be consistent, be positive, be grateful. All that crap can drive a sick and crazy person healthy and sane. You’d think we’d choose to behave no other way. Oh, no. Give us half a chance and we’re off the wagon and in a ditch. Imagine if we had bad ‘bad’ habits, like smoking, drinking and drugs and debauchery beyond an indulgent evening at the local In ‘n Out Burger. My, my...
You might recall (this is pushing it), no good things are approached or accomplished without goals and disciplines. I’ll get into guts and perseverance later -- you’re already looking guilty and depressed. You’ve got to renew your goal; revive, reshape, reestablish and reiterate the fading thing. You’ve got to breathe life into it, give it a pulse, warm it up, make it cook. Consider your objectives with warm passion and enthusiasm, not heated obsession. Visualize clearly, imagine in detail, smile and be confident.
We have so hammered and shredded and parsed the subject of ‘discipline’ that mention of the brute force leaves us blank and unmoved. If, down the track, goals are where we’re going, self-discipline is the engine that gets us there. All aboard! Tickets, please. Slim and trim, thick and powerful, fit and fast -- whatever your destination, you need discipline. And dark chocolate. Ha! Just kidding. Girl joke.
What a strength to acquire, to develop and possess. Discipline is like a shield and a sword, a scroll of honor and truth. It protects and advances us and cannot be refuted. Seek it, grasp it, never let go.
The marvelous fact is that all this commendable, powerful, constructive and cool stuff is wrapped tightly together with muscle and might, shape and health, and barbells and dumbbells. Take me to your Iron. Now! I can wait no longer.
Guts and persistence are the teeth of this snarling beast. Gee, I’m getting tougher and more aggressive with each ’n every conjunction of words... must be the vigorous stirring of character, spirit and creature potential within. Stand back! Step aside! You must have courage and resolve to walk the earth’s surface. What better way to confront stress and strain than to lift weights and build muscle.
Got problems? Lift weights!
My problems are the least of my problems. I want baseball biceps and horseshoe triceps, barn-door lats and coconut deltoids, a lightning waist and thunderous thighs.
Got desires? Lift weights!
Have you checked your reservoir of strengths lately? Do you have the needed ingredients, the necessary materials, the required parts to make what you want? Doesn’t cost much, but it takes a lot. It’s simple, but it isn’t easy. You know the song, you can do the dance.
Got something important to do and somewhere special to go?
Lift weights, build character, take all the time you need and a tub of Bomber Blend. Don’t forget your Super Spectrim Vitamins and Minerals.
That about covers it, fair-weather bombers. Be strong! Hesitate not! Let ’er rip!
Did I mention intensity? Patience? Weirdness? The Weider Master Blaster Technique? Lunacy?
Go, ya crazy kids... lots of water and rest... Dave
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Did you know Bomber Blend will provide the least expensive and most nutritious meals in your daily eating regimen? It’s not an added extravagance to your food budget; it reduces your budget and improves your nutritional intake. It builds lean, strong and shapely muscle. Regular servings of Bomber Blend raise your IQ and enable you to time travel. Made into a poultice and smeared on the scalp will prevent baldness and kill tics. Good stuff.
Scoop the blend into a glass, stir and drink with pleasure and satisfaction, when you need to, want to or should. All the time.
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