Buy Three, Get Two—While They Last
From Don't Make Waves
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Have you heard the latest breakthrough in extreme muscle-building development? It applies to men and women equally and age is of no consequence. It does not come in pill, powder or liquid, it is not written or vocally expressed and it is not available over the counter. The coveted formulation is called DD-BoomZoom and can be acquired through the internet only. For details, send me cash. No questions asked.
Should the sun go down on Wednesday and I have not cobbled together a vague and random combination of words toward the IOL newsletter, I experience acute manic depression and cannot focus on the evening’s reality-TV. Life’s too short. Thus, I cleverly and desperately transliterated the above paragraph to my computer screen, which you might have noticed reveals quite startlingly my despicable nature.
It’s a fraudulent scheme cunningly designed to make millions from hapless and depressed bodybuilders worldwide. It shames me to realize slick, greedy thoughts reside in my mind, but, hey, what if they work? I’d be one less unemployed citizen, one more resident back on the job. My con is sort of patriotic, if you look at it that way.
The only thing to do now is send the cash, ask no questions and acquire the details. I’ll get back to you on this next week. Risky? Yes. But, then, as you know, I am a daring kinda guy.
Immediately—this day—my need is to formulate a training scheme to get me to the gym, in the door, on a bench, next to a bar, near a pair of dumbbells, within reach of a pulley and flexing, pumping and burning. Yes, it’s one of those days, bombers, an ache, a pain, a pull here, a tear there, here a swelling, there a throbbing.
All I really need is to get to the gym. Once there, it all falls in place like broken dishes in a china closet. Cracking and crashing replaces bombing and blasting and, within 75 minutes of instinctive sorting and matching and mending, I’m in one piece again—a cup, a saucer, a bowl, a plate… mugs are my favorite.
Earlier today I walked into the Weight Room Santa Cruz, voluntarily and unassisted, unbound and ungagged. Ah, there I go again, jerking around. I love to train. It’s fun, it’s fulfilling, it’s gutsy, it’s healthy and it’s empowering. We must continue to train, and we must train with consistency and spirit and commonsense.
Secretly, between you and me, bombers, there are times when working out is not as much fun as it seems. It’s painful, it’s boring, it’s disappointing, it’s dumb and it’s punishing. That’s why, as we get older (part of the plan), we must learn to finesse our workouts so they rarely, if ever, enter the no-fun zone.
No fun is no fun. No fun is for grumps.
Finesse requires sensitivity and knowing, which require attentiveness and care, which require practice, study and purpose, which require devotion and love and time. It’s time. Going through the motions, following a pre-designed program, x sets of x reps, hello and goodbye are not enough. You must engage, feel, sense, push and pull, react and respond, project and protect, be strong and have mercy.
It’s so much healthier and joyful for everyone, especially you and me.
Like I was saying, earlier today I walked into the Weight Room fortified with a bracing indulgence of delicious, nutritious muscle- and might-building Bomber Blend and a sufficient awareness of what I should, could and would like to do to serve my health and musclebuilding needs.
Calculations, thanks to 55 years of practice, were swift and certain. I assessed what hurt and how badly, what I had done in my most recent workout, what I was able to do, what needed to be done and what I would most enjoy doing. I then eased into my first set of electrifying rope tucks to begin the workout and refine my assertions.
The clock hangs on the wall and is neither my friend nor my enemy. Time proceeds, I work as hard as I can at what needs to be done, and I quit when I’ve accomplished the deed. This is 75+/- minutes after my first tug on the weights, which totals 24+/- sets. Some sets are composed of 50 reps, some sets are as low as six reps and most sets are supersetted.
I have limitations by the rackfull: low ejection-fraction of the heart is the (gasp) big beast, the discombobulated shoulder and elbows are like rats and arthritic this and that are the hornets and wasps. We all have our cuddly pets.
I’m alone or among understanding friends when I train, thus the awareness or embarrassment of weakness and restraint are not a debilitating threat. Were I to train in strange gym where I might be recognized as the Bomber, the folks would point and whisper, “Who’s the grumpy guy with the bag over his head… using the girly weights?”
I’m impervious. I press on.
Since you care, here’s what I did this afternoon that has me so cheery:
Rope tucks… 3 sets x 50 reps
Superset with
Machine dips… 3 x 15 repsSteep incline dumbbell press… 4 x 8-10 reps
Superset with
Stiff-arm barbell pullover… 4 x 12 repsThumbs-up curl… 4 x 10 -12 reps
Superset with
Pulley pushdowns 4 x 15-18 reps
It’s a teensy routine but it’s all I can do. Seize and control. I’m on top of every movement, set and rep, and there’s no race in the pace. Plod and plunder.
I wonder what the workout will look like and feel like next year at this time, said the hound dog to the pup, as he padded in a tight circle before settling down for a snooze?
BoomZoom… DD Special
<<< Tumultuous Nerve-wracking Times TNT >>>
Be strong and courageous.
Be grateful and joyful.
Encourage and be encouraged.
Respect and be responsible.
Train hard and eat right.
Let not evil prevail.
Gold Up
Oil Down
Bomber Blend Record High
God Speed.
>>>>>
Everyone has heard of the light at the end of the tunnel, but few have experienced it… or know anyone who has. Lo and behold, Laree D has, and it is neither daylight nor the headlight of an oncoming train. It is the 3.5 hour, three-disc DVD series by Dan John called Intervention: Course Corrections for the Athlete and Trainer.
Three months ago Dan John gave an in-depth seminar about the fundamentals and intricacies of correct training structure for the focused athlete. Cameras rolled as he described, demonstrated and detailed on blackboards the functional movement systems and their achievement. In the ensuing months, Laree edited the raw material, arranged it for clear understanding and added files of related information to present a bright light to which few tunnels lead.
Here’s a quick look: Dan John -- Intervention, new release!
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