At the Gym Door Looking for Sanity



The Doc Ken crew, enjoying some Bomber Blend

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Yes, I, too, watch the news. I urgently apply the remote control, looking for the best spin of the latest catastrophes while adding my own dopey remarks as if they mattered. My comments are thoughtful and substantial: he's a bum, she's a jerk, that's a lie, they're all thieves, politicians should be imprisoned and so on.

In truth, daily events are part of the reason many of us work out with zeal. Muscles, strength and fitness topped the list early on, but the gnawing stresses of the times have many of us at the gym's door looking for sanity and relief.

A good gym is a way-station, a refuge, a place of your own to lick your wounds or prepare you for the good race tomorrow. The field, the track, your garage or the gym is where you cleanse, restructure, restore inside and out -- no miracles, no magic, no kidding. You forgive, you forget, you remove the thorns, you ease the pain, you count your blessings like reps and sets. You become reunited with yourself as a friend who's worthy, and those around you know you better and enjoy you more. Life is good for a long time.

Do not go one week without two workouts. Ever. These can be the minutes that save you from the dreaded muscular disease, The Gap.

You've heard of The Gap by now (since I'm reminded of it often, and I don't hesitate to lay it on you when that happens) -- an unmanageable malfunctioning of the disciplinary tract, which leads to the deterioration of the walls of the will? Some folks have been known to succumb to the wretched disorder for months, losing muscle tone and gaining a tire around the middle.

Mild discontent, guilt, irritability and sloping shoulders accompany The Gap. Loss of energy and stamina are not uncommon and binge eating has been observed among serious Gap sufferers.

Some seasons pressure us to limit our exercise schemes, and obliging the pressure is natural and right. Summer vacations and winter holidays beg for time off. Be aware and recognize the safe and friendly boundaries of maintenance training, and faithfully heed them until the more favorable times when you can blast it with hungry might. Failure to do so leads to despicable consequences. Prevention is easier than the cure.

My creed goes something like this: keep it simple, stick to the basics, train consistently with enthusiasm and intensity, use logic, be creative and intuitive, be confident in your applications, be happy and deal with your misery. Be real. Stop fussing.

There are absolutely no secrets. Nothing's new. Collect the necessary information and get to work. The clutter of intelligence, the waste of words describing a simple thing, the superior heaps of decaying mental rubbish surrounding the notion of exercise and sensible eating is maddening. Why, there are people who have read so much they think they actually know something.

The learning's not in the reading, it's in the doing.

It's not uncommon for me to refer to the unhealthy and unfit condition of society as a reflection of its apathy, complacency and ignorance. My references are not insensitive comments on the undesirable fitness level of the people on the streets. They are not condemnations but instructive pleas to set the dormant into motion. They are not intended to ridicule the overweight but rather to stir the sleeping.

They call the weak to strength with no tone of mocking in the voice. The mocking, rather, is in the ear.

Exercising and eating right prepare us for the tough days ahead. Exercise is a constructive diversion that relaxes and reduces stress, strengthens the body, mind and spirit, establishes confidence, builds brother- and sisterhood, adds considerably to the resources of the country and prepares it to win the good fight.

You've heard my sermon before: exercise and eat right for good. It's not clever or original, profound or poetic, but it's exact.

Today, more than ever, we need to be exercising, at home, on the streets, at the park or in the gym. I'm a gym rat and for those who frequent such entertaining places, I have composed five short workouts that are music to the ears.

Some days we rock and some days we roll and some days we hum a tune to ourselves, and the beat goes on and on. The workouts are immediate, to the point and effective for focusing hazy and roving minds and stimulating weary bodies when performance levels are low and we're out-of-key. Call them sing-alongs, metal harmonies, humming and clanging or the noisy, snappy rhythms to keep the mood up and creativity afloat without expectation, crescendo or maximum performance.

Sing-alongs are harmonious superset combinations that stray from the norm yet retain integrity. Supersetting is a style of training where two or more exercises that complement each other are performed one after the other to enhance training output. This multi-set training not only condenses workout time, but it also considerably increases productivity.

Robust metallic harmonies are designed for temporary use (a day, a week), but can be modified to fit into your regular training schedule if they feel right. Because they're novel, they're fresh to the mind, fresh to the body.

With some exceptions, the jangling combinations listed here can be performed using the pyramid system of reps and weight, or an 8–10 rep range using a moderate fixed weight. Four sets of any slumpbuster is a minimum. If you're pumping and having fun, take it up to seven. One combination, if pushed, might be enough to maintain your well-being and connection with the gym. Two combos can be mixed according to your needs, desire and energy.

I must admit, I've been singing less and groaning more these days (R 'n R can be exasperating). Don't get me wrong; I appreciate groaning and similar expressions of man-against-steel, but a concert of groaning is like a dirge.

Hence, the simple spontaneous supersets:

~ Floor-to-ceiling, one-arm dumbbell clean -- a common dumbbell movement practiced with a common dumbbell. The alternating, left -- right performance simulates supersetting. Hold onto a rack, position your body stably and dig in. Start light and consider whole body engagement. You learn as you go. I taught myself, so can you teach yourself. This is a test.

~ Flat dumbbell press and seated bent-over row -- same pair of dumbbells, they never leave your hands until the combination is complete. You know how to do flat dumbbell presses, right? Good. At the end of the set, sit upright and place the dumbbells on your thighs; position yourself at the very end of the bench, bend over and allow the dumbbells to extend to the floor without touching. Swell. Take a few deep breaths, focus and pull the weights from a forward, hanging position to a mid- to upper-back position with tight contraction and determined might. Feel the cooperative, relief and burn and pump. Six reps will do nicely. I like a similar extended-set combination with seated dumbbell alternate curls.

~ My favorite extended set combination -- a high-rep (25–35), multi-position movement -- I practice these to warm up the torso, engage the triceps at various sites, work the serratus and lats and generally stimulate the system. It's an instinctive exercise; that is, it depends on your attention on muscle engagement and on methodically exhausting the system of muscles engaged.

Focus on this performance as we go beyond one or two simple muscle groups, and involve numerous connected regions. We expand muscle recruitment, maximize their output, cause them to stretch and co-work and burn and pump -- indications of healthy overload, a fertile soil for hypertrophy, a.k.a. muscle growth.

There's more: The heart and lungs are getting a run for their money; the grip is working overtime. And there is, of course, rhythm.

Four or five sets are required, depending on needs and desire. Vary reps according to fatigue. This stuff is meant to be fun as well as productive.

Night is closing in and it's time to fold up the wings.

Brother Dave


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