The LA Pounce
The wind has calmed down and stirs only the treetops. Redwoods shed their season-long accumulation of loose branches, dead leaf and berries this time of year, re-carpeting the forest floor. Makes you feel good all over, like a shower, haircut and change of clothes after a grimy week on the road. Look at the ocean and you can see forever. Where the water meets the sky, a crisp thin line distinguishes dark blue from light blue. You could balance an egg on it if you had the time. I'll pass. Tomorrow morning Laree and I head for the muscle world of L.A.
It's always good to get away, as they say, and with that profound encouragement we leave Mugsy, a ton of work at home and the gym under-staffed. The handy-dandy Compaq comes along for the ride but Laree views the laptop as a three-wheeler, not expecting to go very far, very fast. Her big screen, multi-task Zippo is the only way to fly. The kid's spoiled rotten... I dunno.
I'm curious to see whom we run into and what the mood is. The Olympia will be the hot news I expect, though either World Gym or Weider's might be exhausted with the subject and secretly yearning for muscle relief. We intend to work out at Joe's new gym for the fun, experience and need of it. This is not a vacation nor is a lay-off scheduled for Laree and me. We are obsessed, small-minded little people and we fall apart when separated from the weights. Here's what I plan to do in the Venice WG.
First, I've got to keep my cool. Don't look nervous or intimidated. Pump up in the locker room before going out on the gym floor. I'll wear my favorite sweats as I have more than one pair - not the baggy, baggy ones and not the ones that come halfway down my calves and stop with my argyle socks showing. Good idea to keep the T-shirt tucked in, white makes you look bigger as does a size too small (always thinking) and a dd.com logo is a smart choice in case they don't recognize me. Hey, they don't at my own gym.
Immediately I'll head for a corner and commence with the crunches and leg raises. This works every time. Heightens my mood and awareness on all levels, prepares me for anything. Bring on the iron and steel. This day will be dedicated to arms and the other connected bodyparts.
Concerned about distraction and my inability to deal with it charmingly I will employ the eight sets of eight reps superset slumpbuster. This is a hot, sure-fire training technique to give me pleasure, assure pump and burn and keep me focused and furiously engaged. The standing straight barbell curl and lying tricep extension work well here. The duet is swift and has a beat. This will be followed by the six sets of six reps sequel to slow me down and allow me to add some poundage and move evenly. How about the low, low angle dumbbell curl with lots of extension, slow up-slow down cadence combined with machine dips? Yes. I lean forward in the dip and focus on the connecting chest, back and shoulder involvement to keep me smiling and busy and generous with my effort distribution. The madness must stop somewhere so I conclude with thumbs-up dumbbell curls supersetted with close grip bench presses, four sets of four reps, a brave attempt at some remaining power. The curls begin to look like hang cleans early on and the bench movement finishes off the tris while reminding my pecs and front delts that I still care.
This ordinary combination of basic exercises, sets and reps if performed with a broad focus, finesse and pounce will blast the whole upper body and budget in a fair amount of cardio. A little persuasive thrust in the barbell curl ignites associated muscles in the shoulder cage on down the spine to the erectors. Lying triceps extensions past the forehead neatly resemble the bent arm pullover affording effective thickening load to the lats and serratus. As the dips connect muscle action so do the low incline DB curls - note pec and ab activity as you strain. Those heavy (hang clean) thumbs-up curls nail the back and shoulders and grip if you want them to. The whole thing is an amusement park, one hilarious ride after another. Laugh it up and embrace the pain.
This workout provides room for another workout or two (legs or a targeted chest, shoulder, back scheme) should the unpredictable time away from home allow. If not I'm safe till I return to my own territory, hay and feeding trough. It's an animal thing. Bombers, Sisters and Brothers, you are the very best. God's Speed, DD
Here's to Ronnie Coleman and his muscular might
Mr. Olympia, 2000
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