The Draper Jawdroppers
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Was I to do it all over again, would I lift weights to become a high-flying Bomber? Yes, of course. Would I suggest my precious child pursue championship in the bodybuilding arena? No way.
Top-notch physical fitness will do just fine, dear heart. Now, go; have fun, prosper and be healthy. Live forever.
Serious bodybuilding -- huge and ripped -- is too hard, too fatiguing, too tedious, too focused, too limited, too severe, too dangerous and too maddening, though it can be a blast.
Last week I promised I would provide a variety of weight lifting routines to attend our physical fitness. As the iron is in no way a stranger to us -- rather, we dare say, our best friend -- I mocked my intentions, calling them unrevealed secrets. How could I offer authentic bombers workouts they had not already considered, practiced or worn out? Impossible!
That being the case, I instead present to you the extraordinary, recently discovered and interpreted, highly confidential routines from before the beginning of time: the three-day, four-day and six-day a week routines, for a grand total of 180 minutes of weight training. Prepare a bowl of popcorn and pull up the recliner; these are Draper jaw-droppers.
Let’s begin with a reservoir of the best and favorite push/pull exercises, as depicted in etchings by early Americans on the walls of ancient dwellings on the Island of Manhattan (Mid-City Gym) and in the grottos along the coastal waters of Southern California (Muscle Beach Dungeon):
Chest, back and shoulders:
Push – flat bench press, dumbbell chest and shoulder presses on an incline bench
Pull – overhead lat pull, seated lat row, one-arm dumbbell row, straight-arm pullover, lateral raise
Biceps and triceps:
Push – lying and overhead triceps extensions, pulley pushdowns, dips
Pull – barbell curl, dumbbell curl – seated, incline and alternate.
Remember, with the smart variations of aerobic activities and warm-up exercises you’re regularly practicing, your leg strength and torso stability are sufficient, and you can devote your weight lifting solely to upper body exercise. Fitness -- lean, toned, shapely, agile and enduring --is our goal. A steady heartbeat and a full head of hair will do.
-- The Big Three --
Each workout to include 10 minutes of dedicated midsection warm-up exercise: Rope tucks, leg raises, hanging leg raises -- your favorites.
60-minute routine, three alternate days a week:
Day 1) Bench press -- wide-grip pulldown -- standing barbell curl -- lying triceps extension
(3-4 sets X 6-8 reps)
Good news: The first and second, and the third and forth exercises can be cleverly supersetted.
Day 2) Squats-- deadlifts -- close-grip bench press
(3-4 sets X 6-8 reps).
I blatantly lied about squats and deadlifts. Who can do without them?
Option: Steep-incline dumbbell press -- pullover -- seated lat row – dips
(3-4 sets X 6-8-10 reps)
Bulletin: The first and second, and the third and forth exercises can be cheerfully supersetted.
Day 3) One-arm dumbbell row -- seated alternate dumbbell curl -- overhead triceps extension -- pulley pushdowns
(3-4 sets X 6- 8 - 10 reps)
Caution: The latter three exercises will be trisetted by animals only.
-- The Fabulous Four --
Similar 10-minute pre-workout midsection scheme
45-minute routine, four days a week:
Day 1) Ye old bench press -- straight-arm pullover -- close-grip pulldowns
(4 sets X 6-8-10 reps)
Day 2) Standing barbell curl -- machine dips -- pulley pushdowns
(4 sets X 6-8-10 reps)
Day 3) 45-degree-incline dumbbell press -- sidearm laterals -- seated lat row
(4 sets X 6-8-10 reps)
Day 4) Wrist curl -- reverse curl -- overhead triceps extension
(4 sets X 6-8-10 reps)
Any of the above days can be arranged with sensible splits to suit your schedule and mood, and any of the exercises can be supersetted or trisetted. Be my guest.
-- The Magnificent Six --
Similar 10-minute bam-slam midsection jam
30-minute routine, six days a week:
Day 1) Seated lat row -- machine dips
(4 sets X 8 -12 reps)
Day 2) Low incline dumbbell press -- dumbbell pullover
(4 sets X 8 -12 reps)
Day 3) Barbell curl -- lying triceps extension
(4 sets X 8 -12 reps)
Day 4) One-arm dumbbell row -- overhead pulley pushdowns
(4 sets X 8 -12 reps)
Day 5) 45-degree-incline dumbbell press -- seated lat row
(4 sets X 8 -12 reps)
Day 6) Whatever you please, whatever you feel is missing... Trust me, I trust you. Here’s an idea: repetition deadlifts, one-arm dumbbell cleans, lateral raises
(3 sets X 6-12 reps)
Hey!!! Where do you think you’re going? Get back here...
There you have it, winged wonders. I suspect you’re still reeling from the sheer mass of training input and genius. Relax. Sit, put your head between your legs and breathe deeply.
Musclebuilding/weight training is not about the exercises; it’s about the lifter and his execution of the exercises. It’s not what you do; it’s how you do it. What I fail to bring in originality, you must bring in execution (ever-renewing zeal, evolving style, improving skill, growing emotion, divine assurance). These work if and when you work.
Note: For those of you who quit reading after the second paragraph due to doubt, confusion, frustration, restlessness, tedium or nodding off, you’re missing the best news. Lighten up! Any one or two of the above 13 workouts will promote fitness and develop muscle and strength and revive your drive, if you practice them regularly. Close your eyes and dig in.
Exercise consistency is the key... opens large doors.
The older I get, the more I prefer and better I respond to variety in my workouts. This variety includes exercise choice, order, tempo, execution (groove) and exertion. I’m satisfied with four workouts a week in the 75-minute range. Gym travel can be a tangle and were it closer, I might train every day for a cool and comfortable 59 to 60 minutes.
Daily training for an hour max is Bill Pearl’s preference (his gym is 25 yards from his front door on a hillside overlooking a valley of pleasant pasture in Oregon). A steady and tight, but not high-strung, blast of iron serves Bill well, and busting a gut or an artery is not his goal at 10 years older than, say, me. When Bill speaks, I listen. Good idea, Billy (call him Billy and you’re toast).
A loose and free training style is appropriate for the mature and disciplined lifter (graying, balding musclehead): reasonable muscle is established, recuperation is slower, injuries present limitations and energy requires smart distribution. Of course common sense, wisdom and intuition, receipts of long and sound investment, are applied and joy maintained.
Expect too much, work too hard, doubt a lot and you’ll worry big. Any worry is big; it’s miserable, debilitating, catabolic and crappy. Have fun.
More is not better, less is not enough, just right is right for you and me. Know where you’re going and remember where you’re from. And don’t forget where you’ve been.
Runway’s clear for take-off; the sky’s above.
Scoot, scat, scram... Godspeed... Dave
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Scoop the blend into a glass, stir and drink with pleasure and satisfaction, when you need to, want to or should. All the time.
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