WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Let's get underway, right here, right now. Consider this the start of your life-long shape-up program. As I always say, "This is what I would do if I were you," — the only pretext under which I dare advise.

I offer you the simplest information to get you where you want to go. This is founded on basic truths that we'll ruminate, observations of others with similar destinations, interviews and surveys in which I personally engaged, conferences with dedicated professionals and, finally, my own Johnny-on-the-spot experiences — nothing like real life to teach you a thing or two.

I am not convinced that a lot of technical "this and that" and wordy research win the war. They are fascinating fodder for strategists, not for us gritty soldiers in the trenches. We've got battles to win, one by one, day after day. That's how victory is gained. Are you with me?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the star of the show, the amazing, the fantastic, the one and only... at this point I introduce you and you step forward, bow humbly yet assuredly, and tell us who you are and where you are going.

Take your time because the story begins here. You need to look at yourself, starting with the skin and penetrating to the inner parts where your thinking occurs and your feelings float freely. This isn't a perfunctory glance — name, age, gender, color hair, height and weight; this is an in-depth examination. You want to know where you're going? You need to know who you are.

I generally accept that I am selfish down to the bone. That doesn't make me a bad person. Why, I suspect it makes me a lot like my admirable neighbor, don't you agree? Know thyself. Sit, think, meditate about yourself and get comfortable doing it. This isn't touchy-feely pondering, self-help dodo or I-love-me, I-deserve-it goop. Okay? This is a healthy introspection to get you familiar with your strengths, weaknesses and peculiarities: to see them clearly and laugh, admire, appreciate, apply or eradicate.

I'm prompting you to do this 'cuz it works in confronting your need and desire to shape up, and because we avoid evaluating in a constructive way. We often bring forth our weaknesses to brood over or punish ourselves. We polish our strengths to brighten our ego and raise our conceit. No, no, no. This is to identify who we are, honestly, so that we can move on toward our goal.

What characteristic about you might prevent you from succeeding?

Some of you are on fairly safe ground and need only to lose a few pounds and stick with the program. You need a nudge to get you going, a shot of encouragement and reassurance that you're not alone and that getting fit is exceedingly important. A reminder of the basics, the truths we live by. By golly, I'm here to put you back on track and convince you that any other train is an express to disappointment on down the line. My train or the mule train.

Some of you have been carrying large amounts of weight for a long time because of the crawling years of family, job and life's grand struggle. You, my dear friends, are not alone. Fact is, you share the broadest piece of the out-of-shape real estate, a populated frontage property with common borders and problems.

You need to believe what is put forth in these modest articles, apply the principles of logic with your own developing finesse and watch the exciting show from your front row seat. Fools think your journey is a drag. Feel sorry for them but don't let them distract or depress you with their grumbling sourpuss or false levity. Fools are like that: no courage, no discipline and no vision. It's you who is growing in heart, mind and muscle as their bellies grow in girth and circumference. Give me five, big buddy.

I know it's easy to jest. I know, too, we're often alone and need to be tough each and every day of our life and humor is the kindest friend we can share. I know the road is narrow and cruel for some whose abilities are limited and eating disorders are bandits along the way. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binging are beyond my scope but not beyond my concern. I know there is hope in these words if there is hope in you.

Is anyone out there lazy or glutinous? I didn't think so. Let's move on without hesitation to that attractive thin line of the horizons, your lean, mean goals.

Goals are a wonderful thing. They exist in the background of our mind and subtly move us along the corridors of life. This grand feature of the psyche has been observed by psychologists and they have encouraged us to define our goals to shape our future, to visualize them and give them texture. By them we describe our lives, step forward, remain in place or devour ourselves in frustration. They make presidents and champions, criminals, freemen or slaves. They get us up in the morning and off to school, work and play. Sometimes it's a small yet significant goal that keeps us alive and well from morning to evening, day after day. Goals have substance, yet only to the degree that we believe in them and reach for them with all our heart's energy.

Don't underestimate the power of goal setting or overestimate the goal you set. Expectations can have one racing across the Sahara without water or seeking oneness in the middle of Times Square. What do you want, when, how and why? More specifically, how much do you want to weigh and when? What are your diet plan, exercise plan and reasons for your endeavor? Fair considerations, you agree? We'll work on diet and exercise together... don't wince... this is groovy.