Mass Building for the Masses

Some of you younger bombers may not understand but not everyone finds it absolutely impossible to get huge. More than sixty percent of the population of the modern world has achieved the dubious goal without really trying. There they are, standing on a street corner, coaching high school football or unloading a freight truck. Huge. Of course, they are not of the huge variety toward which one aspires; they are fat. It's getting large out there.

I have completed the first phase of a book to address the overweight condition. A stack of printed pages, known generously as a manuscript, is in the mighty hands of the copy-editor. She will tear into the unsuspecting sheets of paper and return them to me in shreds stained with red ink. Once I recuperate from the humiliation, I will scoop together the remaining material and dare add some final secret thoughts. They, plus the cover art (still a mystery), go to the printer and in a month, the book: "Straight Talk for the Overweight."

Life is a series of endless hurdles. It's my guess that selling weight-loss books is like selling chewing gum scraped from the underside of countertops; they're stiff, plentiful, have no flavor and they make a tacky gift. Laree has been performing high rep squats and interval track work in preparation of the games. Go, girl...

This week I redirect my attention to some of you who want to gain size in the worst way and forgot how. Where does the answer hide, you wonder, in the eating or in the training? There are no secrets but that doesn't mean the solutions are not directly in front of you and for that very reason are not seen. We look good but we don't see well.

Let's take a look at ten basics and see what we come up with:

1. Envision a goal
2. Eat regularly and eat right
3. Protein up, water up
4. Train regularly
5. Don't have competing goals or apply competing strategies
6. Rest regularly
7. De-stress, de-criticize
8. Use your mind
9. Apply and develop your determination, discipline and patience with trust
10. Carry on and on

Do you feel like a puppy in a class for canine obedience: sit, stand, roll over and jump? Good doggie. Have a biscuit. No growling.

Envision a goal:
Make it simple, five or ten pounds by the end of fall or the end of the year. The bigger the goal you set, the harder the task, the more room for disappointment and frustration, failure and quitting. Big goals don't always display spirit, courage and confidence — sometimes they show ignorance, immaturity and conceit. Look at your objective with affection and without greed. Be aggressive yet humble, grasp rather than grab, embrace and not chase.

Eat regularly and eat right:
You know the routine, five or six smaller meals throughout the day every three hours with an accent on animal protein, red meat every day. Lots of salads, low-fat milk products, bring in the EFAs, run from sugary carbs, don't hide the decent fats, add sufficient vitamins and minerals and protein drinks to wedge the protein in there where it belongs. Look closely at this regimen with both eyes. Do you really adhere to it in its delirious, all-consuming demand? Probably not. Perhaps, for a few days but we tend to falter. It's tough. We miss a meal here and there, make up for some by over-eating at others (wrong), no salads for a week (bad), run out of vitamins (oops) and protein and so on.

Protein up and water up:
I can get preoccupied on any given day and forget to drink water regularly and in sufficient amounts. I am, in fact, reminded as I write that I'm way overdue for hydration and my poor body is struggling. Carry water with you and drink it all day long.

Add protein drinks to your diet when the meal planning is rocky. Stash pop-top cans of tuna in your gym bag when caught out on a limb. Keep a fork handy 'cuz it's hard to get it out of the can with your fingers.

Train regularly:
How many workouts do you miss a month? You who want to gain muscular weight must answer with "zero" or you have just discovered another weak link to the... er... mighty chain. Big weight lifters don't miss workouts unless they can't crawl from under the truck that hit them.

Competing goals and competing strategies:
These are not uncommon amongst even seasoned trainers. We can gain weight over a month or two but we can't gain muscle weight only in that period of time. We can muscularize in two months but we lose all our hard-earned size. The job before us is a good one if we approach it with intelligence and half a dozen other fine characteristics, including those mentioned in the ninth basic on the list of puppy-dog tricks.

Few weight-training aspirants have the ability to gain muscle mass quickly. I know of none, personally. Set your sights on gaining muscle mass over an extended time frame and settle in for the seasons. Increase the workload and increase the food intake relative to your current training. Allow for the bulk and some loss of vascularity and keep your focus on the power increase and the freedom of dietary minutia. You're seeking mass to build muscle maturity through time and consistent, heavy training. It involves sacrifice that you must approve. Find a weight that is agreeable, presentable, and comfortable — bigger but not sloppy — and stick with it until you slowly harden and define. Be ready to work hard and long. I'll elaborate another time.

Rest regularly:
Most people who want to gain weight are male and young and run around like crazy. Fine. Live it up but you won't gain the muscle mass you envision. Sleeping seven and eight hours must be part of your commitment — even time out from other demanding sports needs to be considered. Party time and sleepless weekends cost you dearly. As time goes by, sleep and rest become more important for repair and energy.

Stress and self-criticism:
You achieve the elimination of these two monsters and you'll be alone in a strange world. I've observed men and women who aimed to gain weight and muscle size. When construed as a struggle it was a struggle; approached as a challenge, it was challenging and thought of as a project to be completed, so was it completed. Don't force it, follow the rules, avoid frustration and dismiss temporary disappointments. Use the mirror and scale judiciously and on good days only. Give in to neither conceit nor self-flagellation.

Use your mind:
Having embraced a real and sensible goal, apply yourself with the fortitude that defines you. You know what you want and why, I hope. Simply put yourself in motion. Grind the gears, shift when going uphill, brake going downhill, coast seldom and accelerate on the straight away. You'll get there and take in the scenery as well.

Apply and develop your determination, discipline and patience with trust. About these characteristics I will spare you the rhetoric.

Carry on and on... The Bomber

Did I mention that we'll be squatting next week if we're lucky?