March 19, 2003
returning from a weekend business trip to the big city, the farmer
asked his handyman who picked him up at the train station, “What’s
new?” The old geezer said in a slow drawl, “Nothin’……
‘ceptin’ the cow died.” After further questioning
and coaxing and coaching, the world-weary farmhand went on to explain
how the cow kicked over the kerosene lamp in the barn on Friday
night and the barn burned down consuming all the animals and the
tractors and the harvester and the pickup and the tools and the
seed and silo filled with grain. The sparks reached the house and
that went as well. “It went faster than a cardboard box soaked
in gasoline.” The water tower came down in a steaming fiery
burst and set the corral ablaze, the horses and goats and turkeys
running off with scalded tails and feathers. “Too bad about
the 13 acres of timberland; they still be smoldering,” he
said shaking his head. And then, as if a fine thought occurred to
him, he exclaimed with a toothless grin, “At least ya won’t
need to gather the alfalfa, bail it and haul it to market this fall.
Them fields are lookin’ like midnight at high-noon.”
moral to the story is this: Sometimes it’s better to accept
a short answer to a short question. Ask anybody.
the attitude, your mental acuteness and focus, your general health
and fitness level and your spiritual life? You feeling positive,
hopeful and content? What about money, your economy and financial
security? Your job situation or career, is that area of your life
promising, aspiring? And relationships -- family and friends, your
spouse, your sweetheart – are they contributing to your happiness
and wholeness? Is there an evenness and balance in your emotions
and an understanding of them – your emotions -- which serves
you well? Do you have good thoughts and a constructive imagination;
are you uplifting among people, offering encouragement and affirmation?
Are you optimistic should you find your mind drifting to thoughts
of the future? Is the stress of life under which we all function
within control? Do you relax, laugh out loud and do you love?
are your workouts going?
your strength, your energy and endurance? Is your training in good
order? Do you have a solid plan with legitimate goals and a routine
to achieve them? Is your training intensity sufficient, that is,
are you blasting it? Are you applying common sense as you engage
in your weight lifting, listening and feeling as your body guides
you? Do you train with enthusiasm or a remnant of enthusiasm when
the loving and driving force is in short supply? What level of concentration
do you achieve as you seek a constructive workout, total or near
total? Besides your extreme focus, is your pace and groove and form
near perfect or very good? As aches and pains and injuries visit
you, do you submit beneath their rage or do you rise above them,
mastering them rather than being mastered by them, using them to
learn and grow? Is consistency in your workouts held above all the
variables that influence your muscular achievements? Do you allow
negative imaginings to corrupt your training or is your mind clearly
set on your goal? Do you do supersets to saturate the muscles and
develop cellular energy? Do you include heavy training regularly
to build power and muscle mass and confront gravity with valor?
you train day after day, are you gaining an understanding of your
body in relation to different approaches and systems of training
and not merely imitating programs suggested by trainers or magazines
or dumb newsletters? Have you discovered inspiration for your workouts
within yourself and the purpose you have, the motives that compel
you and the goals that you clearly envision? Does desire –
a heart for training – swell inside you regularly like a love
for a pony? Do you seek with strong endurance the burn within the
muscle during hard training? The pain and sacrifice associated with
weight lifting, do you avoid it or embrace it? You like the pump,
the afterglow, the taming of stress, the arousal of endorphins,
right? Are you discovering the control and command of the weights,
the expression of lifting and are you reaping at least a seed of
discipline and perseverance and patience?
your eating plan?
you been getting plenty of protein? Do you stay far away from the
sugars and do you eat smaller meals more often throughout the day?
I’m sure you’re getting adequate fueling and nutritional
support prior to your workout and shortly afterward for fortification
and muscle repair, aren’t you? And you know that a superior
quality whey and casein protein drink serves you effectively in
providing added muscle-building protein and nutrients throughout
the day, especially around training sessions, don’t you? Have
you been taking your daily dosage of vitamins and minerals and antioxidants
to assure your proper intake of those ingredients needed for the
healthy functioning of your entire system? You know your need for
plenty of water is vital to your energy, cellular health and growth,
detoxification, moment-to-moment function and long life, and your
intake is high and consistent, isn’t it? Am I correct, of
course, in assuming you don’t smoke at all or drink in any
way approaching excess? Allow me to be silly, but do you eat fast
food and junk food or lint from your pockets? You don’t eat
too much, do you? You don’t eat too little, do you? You don’t
go on binges or forget to eat for days, do you?
thought I’d ask.
what’s that you inquire? How’s the Top Squat coming
along? Are we, Odis and I, making the needed changes to suit the
various users? When will it be available for purchase and delivery
and how much will it cost? Do you have a picture of it for us who
burn with interest?
thought you’d never ask.
answers are good, yes, ASAP, still evaluating and maybe next week.
and his team at Product Kreation are spending serious hours with
the Davedraper.com Research Clinic in finalizing the coveted Top
Squat. The secret weapon has gone through five prototypes in two
months, each subsequent model a little closer in angle, radius and
length. The most recent version was perfect in function with trick
removable handles for compact transportation. It was strong as a
tank and precise as a derringer. It came in its own cool tote bag
and cost more than a cruise to the Bahamas. Back to the drawing
was agreed that removable handles were for rich kids and not men
and women of steel. A tote bag was for pencil-neck geeks and not
staunch and brawny muscleheads. The TS is now one piece solidly
welded and has the appeal of total iron. The bar cross-member comes
in a three-inch radius achieved by a heavy polyurethane coating
or a 1.75-inch radius of uncoated steel. For the powerlifting brutes
with extra large shoulders we have a monster-size width in either
pricing will be determined after one or two more calculations. Production
takes a few weeks for acquiring materials and setting up tools.
We should see the revolutionary (miraculous and magical) squatting
apparatus guaranteed to put power and size on your legs before sunrise
by the end of next month.
might be a good idea to put a really super-amateur tape together
demonstrating the darn thing and delivering a funky explanation
of the Top Squat’s features and usage. I can do that. Can
you stand it?
more thing: Is the Draper Dungeon imaginary or real? What are its
features and when will it be available? Do you have any pictures?
Please, please, please…
in next week, girls and boys. And don’t forget to drink your
Bomber Blend and take your vitamins. Be good to your neighbor.
getting low. I’m taking her in and putting ‘er to bed.
here to order your personalized, autographed copy of Dave's new
book, Your Body Revival, $18.95
here to see the previous week's column
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