ever undertake a project and say to your spouse or best friend,
"Oh, I can do this in my sleep," and you don't see daylight
for three weeks? Fast food cartons collect wherever no one sits
or walks; newspapers pile up on the doorstep, the cat takes up with
the neighbors, the house smells of electrically burnt coffee and
the phone rings regularly, muffled and distant, and you can never
find it in time. Yeah, happens.
small loft with a sloped ceiling above the kitchen has been active
with the churning of a printer, the rapid tapping of computer keys
and the continual shifting of a squeaky chair on wheels. I climb
the nine steps to the besieged area to make sure Laree has water,
paper, ink and other essentials. I encourage her to eat, wipe her
chin and give her the time and the day. She smiles a tiny smile.
Today is Sunday. The book, "Stella's
Kitchen," will be ready for the printer tomorrow.
printer will produce a copy of the manuscript for us to proof one
last time before it is printed in quantities. Shazam. Hopeful estimations
indicate that the cookbook of champions will be in our hands and
kitchens early in December. Can't you just see it wrapped in cheery
red paper with a big white ribbon under the Christmas tree next
to the underwear and socks and tie and shirt and sweater and bottle
of Gallo Burgundy?
not nice to brag and boastful pride can turn around quickly and
tweak you on the nose, but if you were to ask me -- and me not wanting
to lie -- I'd have to say "Stella's Kitchen" by our own
Stella Juarez, AKA Wonder Woman, is a very cool cookbook. Yes. That
is my expert opinion, ladies and gentlemen. I'll allow Laree to
he say Christmas? I'm just getting used to the pumpkins. Yup, in
case you haven't been watching TV commercials lately, Christmas
has descended upon us, jingle bells and all. And don't get trampled
by a stampede of wild turkeys heading for the hills before the end
of the month.
is the time of year I get out my rickety old soapbox and start lecturing
about the evils of procrastination, laziness, excuses and missed
workouts because it's cold or wet or dark. There are the usual holiday
rationales and the season-to-celebrate stories and the weary defenses
wrapped around the kids and the wife and the shopping and the traffic.
Give me a break.
them high. It's your bottom; it's your biceps, your bench press
and your guilt. You'll be sorry when the springtime and sunshine
comes our way again and you are as round and firm as the half-inflated
beach ball in the corner of the garage... Right about now somebody
in the back row - a kid, I think, prompted by his portly dad --
throws a rotten tomato. I duck. Cackles assail me as a league of
moms in muumuus trudge off and it's not long before I'm alone, Laree
tugging on my pant leg. "Let's go, for heaven sake."
heaven. I no longer need to embarrass either of us or waste our
time. United we stand, IronOnline compatriots. Our purpose is clear
and our resolve unshakeable. We have the iron in common, good health
and physical performance are admired and shared equally, muscle
and strength and its acquisition are very popular in our midst and
none of us really want anything to do with fat, except its elimination.
grown over the past years, have learned much and have developed
sound training and eating principles and, furthermore, soundness
of muscle. And we know consistency is the secret… if there
is a secret. We smart.
doesn't it feel good to be invulnerable to the trite weaknesses
that afflict the rest of the community? While your minds are clear
and you stand strong on dry land, let’s look over some random
thoughts and fundamentals to keep us from sliding in slippery times.
Be true to yourself. Don't miss your workouts.
Prepare for the winter months ahead by recalling the years gone
by and the consequences of disorder and faltering. Did you regularly
overeat and was it worth it? Did you forego your workouts and at
Plan ahead: gift shopping, party hopping, traffic stopping, couch
flopping, food slopping and drink popping. Reserve room for yourself
and your health.
Look out for the other guy and gal. Support yourself as you support
them. Remind them of the responsibility you both have to your physical
fitness and dare them to fight the good fight together.
Missed workouts and over-indulgence are inevitable as we round the
corners of November and December and take on the ascent of the New
Year. They're good for you. Live it up. Just don't let the two tricksters
cause you to lose balance, wrestle you to the ground and pin you
with a step-over toehold.
The commercial world would like us to jump the hoops and roll over:
buy this, be that, go here and do that. Don't become a holiday sheep
of the pasture well fed and wandering aimlessly with the flock.
Step along smartly, know where you're going and why. Don't imitate,
don't follow and don't baah.
Enjoy today, keep your eye on tomorrow and rest in your growing
confidence. You know something special about this crazy life - it's
there for all of us, of course - and you've grown attached to it.
In your weaknesses, show your strength. Train hard, eat right and
that beg forgiveness call for workouts that are forgiving. The next
few months are joyful and indeed crowded. They're a hoot. I have
an assortment of workouts for you to choose from when time is short,
focus is a bit fuzzy, yet the needs and desires are plenty sharp.
Remember, Pals, once you've seen one dog race, you've seen them
When you have special choir rehearsal with 27 small children at
curl (five sets, moderate weight, 6,8,10 rep range)
Dips (five sets, moderate weight, 6,8,10 rep range)
nonstop supersets: leg extension, leg curl and calves x 10 reps
-- light to moderate weight, minute pause between supersets
When shopping at the mall for your sweetheart and another gift certificate
from Sears like last year absolutely will not do:
Press (five sets moderate weight 10,8,6 range)
Bentover row (five sets moderate weight 6,8,10 range)
When it's Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the only turkey left
is at the butcher, way, way on the other side of town and he's holding
it for you… right now:
and calves supersetted (moderate weight and volume 20,15,10, 8,6,)
Lying bent-arm pullover and press (light-moderate -- warm-up - 6
40 minutes, depending on weights used.
five sets of standing thumbs-up dumbbell curls, starting heavy and
descend the rack– five sets of six reps. Keep moving, get
When it takes you 75 minutes to dig your car out; it's cold, getting
late and you’re going to the gym whether anybody likes it
or not. Problem with that?
press (moderate weight and volume 25,20,15,12,10,8)
Under-grip cable pulldowns (moderate weight 8 to 10)
Machine dips (moderate to heavy 15,12,10,8,8,8)
Allow 40 minutes
When the in-laws drop by as you're walking out the door to go to
the gym – lower back and torso, your favorite -- to show you
slides from their third retirement cruise to The Bahamas, or is
Hyperextensions – weighted (4x15). Keep Moving.
No more than 15 minutes
lift (go moderate to heavy 12,8,6,4,2)
Stiff-arm pullover (moderate weight 12,10,8,6,6)
Allow 20 minutes
When the turkey’s in the oven, all the fixins’ are on
the stove, the house is clean, the table is set and you’ve
got a couple of hours for self-revitalization:
incline press (five sets moderate weight 10,8,6 range)
Stiff-arm pullover (moderate 12,10,8,6 range)
Seated lat row (moderate 15,12,10,8,6 range)
Allow 30 minutes max
When coincidentally you’re across the street from the gym
while procuring a dandy Christmas tree and you have an hour on the
meter that you can’t waste, especially this time of year,
and she’ll never miss you anyhow, even though you promised
her dad, Big Mack, you’d call bingo at the Vets Hall downtown
where the mobs and traffic jams are:
degree Flat bench curl (light to moderate 10,8,6,6,6)
Stiff-arm pullover to forward-most position (same weight DB 12 reps)
Heavy machine dip (6 to 8)
30 minutes max
When you feel like it:
row (five sets moderate weight 6 to 8)
Stiff-arm pullover with bent bar (five sets moderate weight 12,10,8,6,6)
and calves supersetted (moderate weight 12,10,8,6,6)
Always push. Got 60 minutes. What’s the rush?
too early to check your de-icers, bombers.
to climb… Draper
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